Families make everything better

Earlier this year in Mrs. Caffeys third hour, we had a brief discussion about marriage. I was shocked to hear some of the comments that were made. One comment that shocked me went something like this, “I don’t want to get married because I have seen how unhappy my parents were when they were together.” This truly amazed me because I had never thought about the negative side of marriage like that. I must be extremely lucky because my parents love each other enough to overcome their differences and compromise and love each other even when they disagree. In fact, the times that my parents were the unhappy is when they are separated.
I believe that families are the most basic and the most important unit of society. But that unit is deteriorating in time. M Russell Ballard, one of the leaders of the LDS church is a great speaker and I could never express my feelings about the subject better than he did in his talk That the Lost May be Found. He said,” Being lost can apply to whole societies as well as to individuals. Today we live in a time when much of this world has lost its way, particularly with regard to values and priorities within our homes.
One hundred years ago, President Joseph F. Smith connected happiness directly to the family and admonished us to focus our efforts there. He said: ‘There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home. … There is no happiness without service, and there is no service greater than that which converts the home into a divine institution, and which promotes and preserves family life.’
It is our homes and families that need reforming in this increasingly materialistic and secular world. A stunning example is the growing disregard for marriage here in the United States. Earlier this year the New York Times reported that ‘the share of children born to unmarried women has crossed a threshold: more than half of births to American women under 30 occur outside marriage.’
We also know that among couples in the United States who do marry, nearly half get divorced. Even those who stay married often lose their way by letting other things interfere with their family relationships.
Equally worrisome is the ever-growing gap between the rich and poor and between those who strive to preserve family values and commitments and those who have given up on doing so. Statistically, those who have less education and consequently lower incomes are less likely to marry and to go to church and much more likely to be involved in crime and to have children outside of marriage. And these trends are also troubling in much of the rest of the world.
Opposite of what many had thought, prosperity and education seem to be connected to a higher likelihood of having traditional families and values.
The real question, of course, is about cause and effect. Do some sectors of our society have stronger values and families because they are more educated and prosperous, or are they more educated and prosperous because they have values and strong families? In this worldwide Church we know that it is the latter. When people make family and religious commitments to gospel principles, they begin to do better spiritually and often temporally as well.
And, of course, societies at large are strengthened as families grow stronger. Commitments to family and values are the basic cause. Nearly everything else is effect. When couples marry and make commitments to each other, they greatly increase their chances of economic well-being. When children are born in wedlock and have both a mom and a dad, their opportunities and their likelihood of occupational success skyrocket. And when families work and play together, neighborhoods and communities flourish, economies improve, and less government and fewer costly safety nets are required.
So the bad news is that family breakdown is causing a host of societal and economic ills. But the good news is that, like any cause and effect, those ills can be reversed if what is causing them is changed. Inequities are resolved by living correct principles and values. Brothers and sisters, the most important cause of our lifetime is our families. If we will devote ourselves to this cause, we will improve every other aspect of our lives and will become, as a people and as a church, an example and a beacon for all peoples of the earth.
But this is not easy in a world where hearts are turning in many directions and where the whole planet seems to be constantly moving and changing at a pace never before imagined. Nothing stays the same for long. Styles, trends, fads, political correctness, and even perceptions of right and wrong shift and move. As the prophet Isaiah predicted, wrong is portrayed as right and right as wrong.
The spiritual divide gets even wider as evil becomes ever more deceptive and subtle and pulls people toward it like a dark magnet—even as the gospel of truth and light attracts the honest in heart and the honorable of the earth, who seek what is moral and good….
The Church stands as an example of heart turning and as a catalyst for good in the world. Among Church members who are married in the temple and who regularly attend Sunday meetings, the divorce rate is significantly less than that of the world, and families remain closer and are in more frequent communication. The health in our families is better, and we live several years longer than the population average. We contribute more financial resources and more service per capita to those in need, and we are more likely to seek higher education. I point out these things not to boast but to testify that life is better (and much happier) as hearts turn toward family and as families live in the light of the gospel of Christ.
So what can we do to not become lost? First, may I suggest that we prioritize. Put everything you do outside the home in subjection to and in support of what happens inside your home. Remember President Harold B. Lee’s counsel that ‘the most important … work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes’
Second, we need to do things in the right order! Marriage first and then family. Too many in the world have forgotten this natural order of things and think they can change it or even reverse it. Remove any of your fear with faith. Trust the power of God to guide you.
And to you young women, I would add that you must also not lose sight of this responsibility. No career can bring you as much fulfillment as rearing a family. And when you are my age, you will realize this even more.
Third, husbands and wives, you should be equal partners in your marriage. …No one owns a spouse or children; God is the Father of us all and has extended to us the privilege of our own family, which was previously only His, to help us become more like Him. As His children we should learn at home to love God and to know that we can ask Him for the help we need. Everyone, married or single, can be happy and supportive within whatever family you may have.
Now, if for any reason you individually or as a family have lost your way, then you need only apply the Savior’s teachings from Luke, chapter 15, to correct your course. Here the Savior tells of the effort of a shepherd searching for his lost sheep, of a woman searching for a lost coin, and of the welcome received by the prodigal son returning home. Why did Jesus teach these parables? He wanted us to know that none of us will ever be so lost that we cannot find our way again through His Atonement and His teachings.”
I hope that those of you who had negative feelings toward marriage feel differently. I am not saying that I am going to get married a.s.a.p. That is the last thing on my mind right now. But it definitely is one of my distant goals.
I love my family and I hope that each of you love your families, or will learn to love your families as I do.

Happiness is Success

One of my earlier blogs, I stated a quote by Thomas Monson that read, “We can't direct the wind but we can adjust the sail.” Your situation might be horrific but your reaction to the difficulties can rotate you 360 degrees. Did you catch that? 360 degrees will take you in a full circle and you would end up right where you began. Your reaction can turn you 180 degrees and your problems are gone.

Your inconveniences can even benefit you in the long run. My parents often share stories of their early marriage with me. They had very little money and could only afford the necessities of life. While experiencing these difficulties they did not particularly enjoy it. However, during this time they learned to properly budget, manage, and to stretch their money. As they worked and earned more dough, those skills remained in place. Now, from a modest pay check, we live free from the burdens of financial debt and mortgage free. My family has much more than the bare necessities because my parents know how to manage money. Your discomforts might be an encumbrance now, but as you continue in life, you will benefit because of what you learned during those trials.

Attitude truly is everything. When I hear people say, “I am in a bad mood!” I have no sympathy for them. You determine your mood. You determine your state of mind. Although a plethora of terrible things might happen to you, that does not mean that you automatically switch to “bad mood mode”. Being in a bad mood, or a good mood is a choice. So chose to be in a good mood.

During his speech at the NHS dinner, Mr. Peterson said (and I completely agree with him), “I am confident that each of you will be successful no matter what you decide to do with your lives.” College, the armed forces, a job or whatever you decide to pursue after graduation can and will be a success if you are happy with that decision.

Dictionary.com defines success as a favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors. Success is not obtaining untold riches or winning a Nobel Peace Prize (although those would be nice to have). A wise man once told me, “Success is not based on reaching your goals but remaining optimistic no matter what happens.” I do not mean to say that you will not achieve you goals, but I am saying that life will throw you curve balls and you will strike out. Even the best baseball players strike out. Have faith that you can eventually achieve your goals. The only possible way to fail is when you give up. Go forward with hope and faith that you can achieve you goals. When you happen to fail, remain optimistic because happiness is success.

Make a change

Lately I have heard people say and I have said this myself a few times, “If I die at least I will die having fun.” Or, “I will die happy.” When I asked my parents if I could buy motorcycle, they responded, “You want a murder cycle? Why would you want a murder cycle?” They think that when you drive a motorcycle, you want to die. I agree with them about the fact that more accidents occur when on a motorcycle than when driving a car. Because I would like to have a motorcycle does not mean that I want to die. I still would like to own and drive a motorcycle one day.

Another foolish thing that I have heard a few people say lately is, “When I am thirty, I will hope that I die. I will not kill myself but I would rather die than live after I am thirty.” They think that life will be completely monotonous when they reach that age and would rather die than endure the “torture” of being middle aged. Changes will occur as we grow older. But life would be even more monotonous if no changes occurred. I will admit that I am growing tired of my life as it now is. I am ready for a change I do not want to be middle aged already. I don’t want to die because major changes will be occurring in my life shortly, but I do need an adjustment. My opinion is that we can have just as much fun and joy without dying. I don’t imagine death being fun or enjoyable.

One of my neighbors is a grouchy, older woman. She is not the friendliest person in the world. My dad was trying to change the street name from Smithson Rd to Porter Canyon Rd. He did not want to change the name only because he liked it. He also wanted to change it because there is a Smithson drive in town that causes confusion. My dad had every person on the entire street sign the petition except for this woman. She yelled at him and told him to leave because she felt that there was no need for a change. She was afraid of the change. Don’t be afraid of change. It is alright to be nervous but don’t resist the changes that will occur because you are nervous.

As I said earlier, life would be boring if no changes ever occurred. Make a change!

Trouble

Most of you have most likely already heard this story. So that is just too bad for you. I have a dummy that looks very realistic. Lately, I have put this dummy on people's poaches, next to the road, and in other places where we can see peoples reaction to it.

One night we decided to put this dummy on the Mormon missionaries doorstep. Elder Ammot is a cool guy and is relaxed, but Elder Totten is a little up tight (Elder is a title for missionaries and not their first names). We put it on their apartment poach and knocked. Then we ran around the corner of their apartment where they couldn't see us. Elder Totten came out and said in a very friendly voice, "Hello!” And then he said in a scared voice “Hi?" Then he slammed the door shut and locked it. When doing this prank to other people, we would usually come out and say, “Ha ha! We got you good,” and we would all laugh about it. But this time was different.

I knocked three more times in an attempt to tell them that it was a joke, but they would not open the door. We thought that it would be funny to to make things worse. I put the dummy on the ground and ran it over so that the car's tire was on top of it. Then, I called their phone and told them that I was coming to talk to them and had run some guy over in their driveway. Elder Totten had already called the police, ( a non emergency number) and then he called again to tell them that there was a dead man on their poach.

When they finally came outside, we standing next to the dummy, with the car still on top of it, and we were asking it if it was alright ( it did not respond). James grabbed it's leg and bent it in a way that would be impossible if it actually was a real person. The elders looked at him as if to say, “Do you have no respect for the dead?” but then my laugh gave it away. Ammot asked, “That is not real. Right?” By the time that they had found out that this was a joke, there was already two ambulance, a fire truck, and a several police on their way to the apartment. I was nervously laughing about it when two policemen arrived. James held it up when they arrived. The police officer shined her light into our eyes and immediately grabbed her radio and said in an irritated tone, “It is a joke.” Luckily, I was not arrested. The only harm done was Elder Totten was traumatized and shaking.

Back In My Day

     At one time or another we have all heard someone, usually an older person, say something along the lines of , “Back in my day,” or “When I was young.” A few of my friends made up some “back in my day sayings” of our own. Some of these were, “Back in my day, we didn’t have no stinking computers or televisions. We would read markings on the rocks for entertainment.” “Back in my day there wasn’t no such thing as music. Instead, I was too busy listening to the sound of our crying after I got a good beating.” “Back in my day we would walk thirty miles to the bus stop at two o’clock in the morning so that we could go to school. Did I mention that this walk is uphill both ways?I was grateful for my schooling. I did not complain about no homework. I did my homework, made breakfast, tended the sheep, and sowed my trousers while I walked the thirty miles. If I was crying, I actually had a reason.” We made hundreds of these jokes that made us laugh so hard that we cried. We do not completely doubt the words of our elders, but we realize that they are experts in the art of sarcasm.

     I feel bad for the people who live in the past. The highlight of their lives was high school. I am not saying that I have not enjoyed High school, but I am saying that I expect my life to improve. Don't think that your life is over after graduation. I pity people who graduate and then decide to stay in Holbrook for the rest of their lives without furthering their education and living with their parents until they are thirty. Make something of yourself.

     I heard someone say that once you graduate, you become a guest in your parents house. It is alright to visit for a few weeks but don't depend on them to support you. Don't be the person who teenagers laugh at because you live in the past. Live right now.

Switchbacks

After backpacking in New Mexico for two weeks, the last day on the trail had finally come. Not only was this the last day, but it was also the worst day of my existence. Only fifteen miles stood between us and the end of our savage mountain man lives. I smelled like a rancid mess but had become numb to my own odor. We began to hike with no problems and no worries. We hiked up a side trail to the top of an ginormous rock known as the tooth of time. The top of this rock was the breeding grounds for thousands and maybe millions of lady bugs. Rex Self grabbed and handful of these bugs and was about to put them on James who is terrified of insects. James hit his hand from underneath, and Rex happened to have his mouth wide open. His mouth was filled with these bugs, that were covered in reproductive... juices.

After returning to the trail we found that we had come to switchbacks. Switchbacks are trails that are too steep to walk strait up or down so you are forced to walk back and forth down the trail so that the angle of decent or accent is greatly decreased. Although the trail is not nearly as steep, the length that you are required to walk is doubled. We could see our destination for the entire fifteen miles, but we were forced to stay on the trail and walk left, then right, and then back right.

As much as I hated the switchbacks, I knew that they were there for my own good. If I had chosen to disregard the trail and walk strait down the mountain, it more than likely would have resulted in someone falling, a broken ankle or another injury. Many rules that we encounter may seem ridiculous and without purpose, but they are for our own good and protection. All rules and guidelines are created because someone, somewhere was hurt. For example, I used to think that the rule ,”No running next to the pool,” was ridiculous until I witnessed someone fall and get a big booboo. As I said, all rules are made because someone got hurt.

My advice to you is obey the rules. If you are having trouble accepting a rule or guideline, think about why that rule was put in place. In this case, please don't “break a leg”.

Simple Stupid Fun

Is money really a requirement for fun? Absolutely not! Some of the best times of my life were 100% free. Take this picture for instance. The can of shaving cream cost one dollar. Yet, one dollar provided us with hours of fun. And honestly, it was not the shaving creme that was so much fun. It was each others presence that we enjoyed so much. The best memories are made when we are with our loved ones. Often times, I catch myself complaining that my life in mundane or boring. But I could easily solve this problem by getting off my butt and spending some time with my family and friends.

D. Uchtdorf said, “...love is really spelled T-I-M-E.” How true is this? We show our love best by spending time with each other. So I am going to cut this weeks blog short and go spend some time with my family. I suggest that you do the same.

I Love You! But not in a Creepy Way

This is a continuation of the story from my last blog. If you read this weeks blog but refuse to read last weeks you will be lost.

So we began to walk back up the trail that had led us to the wrong destination. Keep in mind that this was one of those trails that is up hill either way that you walk. I already had blisters covering my feet, I was wearing steel toed boots that were quite heavy, and the sun was rapidly sinking toward the horizon. My buddy was taking far too many breaks, and we were running out of time.

After what seemed like an eternity, we arrived at the campsite that we had left earlier that morning. Two hikers immediately approached us and asked me, “Are you Drew and so and so?” of course we answered yes. They made us sit down, made us a meal, and waited until someone that knew us arrived. Maybe an hour later, two leaders of my youth group came looking for us. As they came closer relief immediately came over their faces as they recognized us and their worried looked quickly faded.

We had no time to waste and we immediately began to hike again to be reunited with the group. I had already walked about ten miles with a forty pound pack and still had nearly ten miles to travel before the day was over. Our leaders told us that they had contacted a search team. There were hikers looking for us, a group of people on mules who were searching for us, and if they had not found us before nightfall, a helicopter would have searched for us. Literally Hundreds of individuals were concerned about me and were going to sacrifice their time to assist me. The rest of the story is really unimportant so to end briefly, after what seemed like days, we were reunited with our group. One of the men in search and rescue let me use his night vision goggles and they were so legit!

I was touched to know that so many people love me and were worried about me. Sometimes it is challenging to notice all of the people that love us and are concerned about each of us. But I guarantee that each of us have a plethora of those people who deeply love and care for us. I am proud to say that I love each of you. My life would not be the same if it did not involve you. I have been blessed to know you. Thank you for loving me (assuming that you do actually love me, hopefully). I would like to end by saying that so many people love us and want the best for us. Although we will sometimes feel like no one cares about us, remember that Drew Shumway does care. I hope that my love for each of you is reflected not only in these words but also in my actions.

Choices that are made in Desperation

Today I hiked the Grand Canyon! We hiked; actually we ran down the Kaibab trail and hiked up the Bright Angel trail. But wow! I am so sore. My legs were cramping and I had no ibuprofen or anything that would ease my pain. Anyways, hiking reminded another experience that I had several years ago.

A group of young men and I went hiking in the Superstition Mountains when I was thirteen. I felt fine and dandy as I walked the trail with a small group of about five other boys. We heard panting behind us and turned around to see another boy who had ran to catch us. The pace that we were walking was not a slow one. This other boy who had run to catch us fell behind. I am a firm believer in the buddy system so I decided to have some pity on him and I stayed behind with him. We walked for several hours and in the back of my mind I thought, “I don’t recognize any of these land marks.” I reasoned that we were not on the right path but I kept silent because I was not sure.

As we walked, the trail just suddenly stopped, came to a dead end. We wishfully thought well maybe this is a shortcut and we just have to go off of the trail. But I knew that leaving a trail was a terrible idea that would lead us into the treacherous mountains to never return. I began to sob. I was confused and disoriented. I tore through the bush and trees trying to locate any sign of a trail, but my efforts were in vain. It is a good thing that the trail did end because we would have followed it all day if there was no dead end.

I fell to my knees, exhausted and distressed. I silently said a prayer that I would be alright and that I would know what to do. When I mustered the strength to get up, I immediately knew that we needed to walk back up the trail and see where we had gone wrong. So we began to walk back the deceptive path that had lead us to a dead end.

I will continue this story next week but I would like to share a lesson that I learned from this experience. When life is difficult and you don't know what to do, consider your options. Do not simply do the first thing that comes to mind. The first thing that entered my mind was, “Leave the path, and you will find the other trail. This is a shortcut.” If we would have decided to do that, I would most likely still be in those mountains. In the past few weeks, I have heard that a few people have committed suicide. It breaks my heart that people decide to do that because they think that it is their best option. But I promise that it is not the best option. This is just one extreme example of hasty choices; another example could be dropping out. Consider your options, think of the pros and cons, and of course choose the best option. If none of your options are appealing, then wait until a new option presents it's self. Last but not least, you are strongest when you are on your knees.

Forgive and Forget

            

Before I begin this week’s blog, I have to inform you about the two nameless people in this photograph. OK! They are not nameless. But remember what is said in this class stays in this class! This is Rex Self and Tess McGee at the prom together several years ago (Rex and Tess, if you are reading this, I hope that this does not hurt your feelings too much. Please forgive me. I love you both.). A few weeks ago, they recently went on a date together. I would describe their relationship as being good friends. Anyways, I decided to do a little blackmail about their relationship; keep in mind that both of these people are good friends of mine. I made this fake wedding announcement and emailed it to them just to be mean. I knew that both Rex and Tess would laugh and not be offended but that they would laugh at themselves. I was right. They do not have any hateful feelings toward me, at least that I know of.

Learn to let things like this go. Rex and Tess could have easily become very offended because of my actions but instead they let it go and even laughed about it. When someone does something to you that is not an excuse for you to treat them badly. We would do well to follow their example. When someone says or does something that offends you, let it go. Don't hold a grudge for your entire life. I have seen people who are offended and they resent their offender for the rest of their lives. Most of the time, the actions of others are not malicious, and they mean you no harm. I have said and done some things out of anger, frustration, and selfishness that I regret. We all make mistakes like this. Although I would not say that the fake wedding announcement was a mistake, and it was somewhat malicious on my part. Yet, we all unintentionally offend others sometimes. Make the Game Called Life more enjoyable and overlook the rude things that others do. Learn to forgive and forget and love.

-Drew Bob

Back Seat Drivers

Have you ever been driving while some one in the back seat yells at you, “You are driving so slow!” or “You are a crazy driver. You need to slow down!” And there are other types of back seat drivers who take upon themselves the responsibility of yelling the directions at you as if you don't know where you are going. They say, “Turn here!”, or, “Watch out!” just to press your buttons and make your blood boil. For those of you who have not had the privilege of having a back seat driver, it is the most annoying thing in the world. It makes me want to turn around and slap the person but that would compromise so I would never do a thing like that.

Whenever My great grandmother would ride as a passenger, she would always tell the driver, “Red light,” and, “Green light,” as if she was driving with a blind person. I feel bad for her husband. She repeatedly said red light and green light to him for sixty five years. He must have had very much patience.

Once I was driving in a car full of noisy and distracting boys. Now, that was a bad idea to begin with. To make things worse,they all thought that they were great back seat drivers and that they would help me to drive “safely”. Due to the crazy things that they were doing, we may have been throwing water balloons from windows of something like that, and I was not paying as much attention to the road as I should have been. I was laughing and having a good time and my mind was not focused on the road. As I was passing the turn where I needed to make a left, everyone in the back seat yelled, “Turn, turn, turn”. Rather than slowing down and checking the left lane for oncoming traffic, I quickly made a turn that was not quite a U-turn but not a left turn either. I nearly missed a car that would have resulted in a head on collision, hit the curb, and almost ran over a pedestrian. Of course the guys in the car all started yelling and freaking out, which didn’t help.

The obvious lesson to learn from this story is, don't listen to backseat drivers. You have a better view of the road than they do and your mind should be more focused on the road theirs is. Apply this to life off of the road. You have the most knowledge of what is occurring in your life. You almost always know what is right and what is wrong. Trust your instincts and do what you know is the right choice. Don't let others persuade you to do something hasty. The best way to not let others persuade you to make wrong choices is to avoid the situations where you will most likely be put under peer pressure. For example, if I would have never been in the car with all of those people in the first place, I would never have been so distracted and I would not have put their lives in danger. Stay away from people and places that will persuade you do make terrible choices. Do what you know is right.

Don't be a Hypocrite

In my blog, I have told you all to give compliments, and ironically I am kind of a hypocrite when It comes to this topic. This is because I am terrible at giving compliments. This week I would like to take my own advice into consideration and give a short compliment to all of my followers.

Abby, you say things under your breath that are so funny! I enjoy sitting next to you so that I can hear your smart comments. People think that I am crazy when I bust out laughing at something you said because I was the only person who heard it. You should speak up when you say some of those things. You are a silent comedian. You also are a great drummer and clarinetister person or however you would say that.

Elizabeth, you are one of the smartest people that I know. You also are a talented singer, dancer, guitar player, and song writer. I like it when you trip and stumble on things. You know how to make people laugh.

Ian my man, you are so fly. I wish that I had as many hats as you have. You also know how to make me laugh. I wish that you lived in Holbrook longer. You can dance like a, like a I don't know. You are a good dancer.

Shabby, you are a beast in volleyball and basketball. I would not want to be guarding you or be the one who is on the other side of the net from you. When you are off the court, you are the nicest person ever. You love your family so much and I admire that.

Sherrrrrrnnnn, you are so cool for letting me,Gage, and all of those annoying boys put you through so much crap. If we ever become too annoying, just tell us to cut it out and we will. Your blog is always one that I look forward to reading each week.

Maria, girlfriend, you are the most responsible teenager that I know. You manage to have a job, go to school, and participate in multiple activities. You are so nice, maybe too nice. You spend so much time to help other people. And did I mention that you are a great sign maker?

Gage, you are so mischievous and fun to be with. You would tear me up in COD any day. You are not afraid to take risks. I must say that your shoulders are looking pretty massive these days. Your have some sick cheer leading skills. I wish that I was man enough to be a cheer leader like you.

Payton, you are not in my class but I guess I will make an exception for you. You are such a little person but you have a huge personality. You are a great at cheer and great in this game called life.

Bethany, your pictures are so artistic and meaningful. But your words that describe those pictures are even better. You are a great volleyball player. You seem like you are one of those people that would be good at anything that you put your mind to.

Charmayne, you are so quiet but when you say anything, it is so profound. I wish that I could be as good at welding as you are. I admire your desire to prove that boy wrong who told you that you would never make it to state.

Ashley, you and Ryan together make Bunley.

Just kidding Ashley! You are so fun to tease because you always have funny reactions. You are so intelligent. You make a great student council president, and you will make a great president of the

United States one day.

Dawnafé, you are a great actor! I was so surprised when I went to watch the play. You are an amazing tattoo artist. I still laugh when I think about the time when you slapped James! I like it when you plug in your iPod in class because you have a good taste in music.

Mrs. Caffey, you have so much devotion for teaching and for your students. I love your stories and I love your class. Thank you so much for taking the majority of your day to help students.

Chelsea, I love you bro.

So everyone, what is the moral to this “story”? Don't be a hypocrite and give compliments.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

  One day earlier this year, around the time of fall break, I was walking through campus during the lunch hour when I had a prompting to walk toward the part of campus that is in between the library and C-building. I had previous plans to walk a different pathway that I believed was a shorter distance. At the time, I did not know why I was inspired to walk that way but I decided to listen to that prompting. As I walked, I saw a young freshman sitting all by himself at one of the tables. He had only been attending Holbrook High School for a few days and he had not made any friends. Mary had introduced the kid to me the day before while he was registering for his classes. I knew of him but I did not personally know him. Anyways, this individual appeared terribly sad and lonely.

I had been told by one of my teachers that I had intimidated the freshman the day before because I am such a tough senior. I would also be scared if I was a freshman so I don't blame the little guy. I had no plans or obligations at the time, so I sat down, decided to talk to him, show him that I am not as scary as I look, and try to be a friend to him. At first, he was very reserved and I could only get him to say a few word at a time. But the longer that we talked, the more he opened up to me. He discovered that I am not the mean guy that I appear to be. We have been friends ever since then.

This experience reminds me of a great song that says,” Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't...”. Although this song is incredibly annoying, I agree with its lyrics. Be friendly and people will want to become your friend. Makes sense, don't it! Don't reject other people just because you don't know them. Be humble enough to take a few minutes from your day and talk to someone who you don't know very well. They might become one of your closest friends. Another issue that I would like to address is being judgmental. Making judgments about others because of their appearance and your first impression of them is completely wrong. I have regretfully made the mistake many times though out my life and then that same person has become one of my closest friends.

Another point that I want to make is this: be friendly. A cold shoulder is more hurtful than many of us realize. A smile, a compliment, saying hello, a hug, or asking someone how they are doing may seem like little things that have no effects. However, these acts of kindness can entirely improve someones day and lift their spirits. Show some brotherly love. Think of how you can be a friend to someone else and they will be your friend in return.  

Crap!

 Earlier this week, I spent about half an hour cleaning the manure from a cattle trailer. I began to think,” Why is it that cows, after riding in the trailer for only a half an hour or less, decide to crap everywhere?” I don't mean to be graphic, but it turns out that most animals do their business when they are nervous. For some unknown reason, their instincts push them to release their waste when they are uncomfortable. I do not know if the animals expect that action to change their position or if they do it mindlessly. Regardless of the reason that they do it, this action obviously does nothing to improve their situation. A loss of my appetite occurred when I thought of all the times I get nervous. To give a few examples, I have become nervous before tests, while public speaking, before a sports event, when I open my progress report, and during a plethora of other instances. This is one of the qualities that separates human beings from animals. Unfortunately, when life becomes tense, simply laying a log will only increase our difficulties.

There are some individuals who give up when they come across an issue in their lives. When they fall, they don't bother to stand back up. Don't be one of those people. Henry Ford, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Walt Disney all failed myriad times before they ever succeeded. Thomas Edison failed more than 1000 times in his attempt to invent the light bulb. But because he chose to continue through his failure, he finally succeeded and became one of the greatest inventors of our time. It is my belief that when we are willing to work for what we want and never give up, we really can do anything. An unknown author said,” Don’t be discouraged. It’s often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.” This author tells us that perseverance is required to bring home the bacon. Just keep trying different keys and eventually, you will find the right one.

Our success is not and should not be easy. Your success will be much more meaningful to you when you fail a few times to reach that goal. To give an example of this, think of someone you know who is naturally great as some sport, skill or whatever it may be. Often times, when they win a competition, prize or reward, they take that achievement for granted. Not to say that natural talent is a bad thing, but when someone who spends hours their time to practice and to finally achieve that same prize wins, they will feel much more rewarded than the person who mindlessly wins. You reap what you sow.

Remember to think of life as a game and don't forget to have fun. Learn to laugh at you mistakes. Our instincts may tell us to quit, throw in the towel, and abandon ship when a pin sized leak begins to fill our boat with water. Solve the problem instead of avoiding it. Next time that you experience a failure I challenge you to find a way to overcome that experience, to learn from it, and to never give up.

What? The game called life?

 So I decided to use the metaphor life is a game to increase my optimism that I have towards my own experiences that occur in my life. Life really is similar to a game. I hope to prove that statement to myself and to you as I write about the joys, perils, triumphs, and failures in my life.

Life can be compared to the game wrestling. After I had lost a close match with a competitor, my coach asked me,” So what did you learn?” There is truthfully much to learn when failure and loss occurs. Now apply that truth to real life. Take debt as one example. After an individual falls into debt, instead of becoming distressed and complaining about their situation, that individual can ask themselves the question what can I learn from this experience? That person will gain experience and knowledge and they will not repeat the same mistake. Remember that this depends on the attitude of individual and these results are also dependent of the the manner that they chose to react.

So when you think of life as a game, what does that change? It can really change every aspect of your existence. Soccer, volley ball, jousting or what ever game that you prefer involves many life like characteristics. These games involve teammates, opponents, coaches, practice, winning, losing, injury, and countless other things that can be compared to our lives. Teammates are our friends, opponents are our enemies, coaches are our teachers and parents, so on and so forth.

Changing your mindset can dramatically change your physical and mental well being. Happiness, anger, sadness, these are only choices that we make in our lives. I have applied the phrase “Choose the joy” multiple times in my life and it has made a notable difference. Thomas Monson said, “We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.” He is telling us that although we can not change many of our circumstances, we can control our reactions to those circumstances.

One of my favorite Hymns is Count Your Blessings. It says, “Count your blessings name them one by one, count your blessings see what God hath done.” Fyodor Dostoevsky writes about the opposite point of view in the following quote, “Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.” These quotes explain that life becomes so much better when you recognize all of the amazing gifts that you have been given. I assure you that life becomes so much more pleasing when you choose to acknowledge all that has been given to you.

Not only can we grow from viewing our lives as a game, but we can also learn to enjoy the good times to a greater extent. Looking at life as a game in general seems to ease tension and add a sense of adventure. Just tell yourself that life is a game and just enjoy every experience.